Several years ago, I took my kids to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid at the movie theater. The way that the main character ranks himself in comparison with the other kids at school really hit me between the eyes. I thought “I do that”. I’m not proud of it, but I do. (If you haven’t seen the movie, you can see what I’m talking about here.)
A few months ago it occurred to me that – wherever we put ourselves on the list – most of us spend a lot of time looking “up” at the people we’ve ranked higher than us and plotting on how we can climb higher, when we should “look down” and try to figure out how we can help those that we perceive as below us.
I was trying to explain this to someone and they (correctly) pointed out “you shouldn’t think you’re better than some people and not as good as some others”. I tried to explain that I knew I shouldn’t, but if I was going to have this bad habit, at least changing my focus from “looking up” to “looking down” might produce some good out of it.
I recently realized that – I don’t think this inner monologue of ranking myself in comparison to others was really about “better” or “worse”, but about who I perceive as having more than me, and who has less. There are definitely people that have more than I do, and people that have less than I do. When I look “up”, I focus on what they have that I don’t. That’s called “coveting” and it’s not a good feeling. When I look “down”, it makes me grateful for what I have and (hopefully) makes me to want to help those with less.